I’m an introvert. I write introverted characters. People that know me are not at all surprised by this. While there are, of course, extroverts in my stories, I honestly don’t think I would even know how to write an extroverted character from their own point of view (like…how do I even get into their heads?).
Thus, when I was recently going over comments from my editor who exclaimed shock when my narrator outed herself as an introvert, I was in turn also shocked that she hadn’t picked up on that… There were then other comments throughout about how an introvert wouldn’t do this and an introvert wouldn’t do that – as though being an introvert means one thing and one thing only.
This encounter reminded me of all the other conversations I’ve had over the years about what an introvert does and does not do, most of which involve the stereotype of an introvert that is shy and awkward, who hates people and won’t take risks. Except none of these things is what makes an introvert an introvert. Even as an introvert, when I had first learned the word and that it applied to me, all I knew were the stereotypes – and when the most outgoing person I knew shared that they, too, were an introvert, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.
Yes, introverts can be shy and risk adverse, but so can extroverts. Yes, introverts can feel comfortable alone, but so can extroverts. Yes, introverts can get tired out by large crowds, but so can extroverts (it just usually takes them longer to feel it).
It all comes down to how our brains are wired. Introverts tend to get tired out by stimuli quicker than extroverts (but extroverts DO get tired by it, too). We also react differently to dopamine – it can make an introvert feel run down, while an extrovert may get a little buzz from it. (This is why we introverts often need to retreat to recharge – we’re overstimulated and need a place without much stimulus that will just continue to overstimulate us. This is why we rewatch comfort shows – we know what’s coming. A lot of extroverts realized this for the first time during the pandemic when they, too, couldn’t handle the overstimulation of watching some new and instead returned to the familiar.)
We also process information differently. Extroverts tend to process externally, while introverts tend to process internally. By the time an introvert voices a choice, they have likely thought through all the possibilities and are ready to move on it. Extroverts may need to talk out all their choices before they can decide on something. (This can cause conflict when you pair these two – an introvert announces their decision, and then the extrovert tries to talk through it with them because they think that’s what they need. It may take us longer to make a decision, but when we do, we’re certain of it.)
Introverts also have a higher blood flow to their frontal lobe than extroverts – this helps with remembering things (perhaps one of the introvert benefits that I do not have), solve problems, and plan ahead. (We are the best ‘what if’ people to have around when planning something.)
(This, by the way, is why you cannot actually be an extroverted introvert – your brain can’t be wired for both. Chances are you mean outgoing introvert.)
It can be difficult being an introvert – our world is built for extroverts (as, often, are our stories). Most jobs require you to network (small talk…need I say more?). The loudest people in the room, the ones quickest to speak, are often seen as the leaders. Important decisions are often made in meetings where we have to express our thoughts out loud (introverts tend to prefer written communication because we can think through our thoughts and ensure we’re saying what we want to say). And a bit in a story where the narrator goes on a walk to reflect on some good news is seen as boring – we want stories that are exciting and fast-paced. (Well, some people do. Others, like myself, like quiet stories, too.)
The world needs both* of us. And so do stories.
*There is a growing theory that Introversion and Extroversion are not actually a binary and exist on a spectrum. This ‘both’ is not meant to slight that. I’m commenting on the the binary society has created pitting Introverts and Extroverts against one another (often with Introversion being something that need to be ‘fixed’ – which it absolutely does not).
Ami Maxine 