It’s Halloweeeeen!

I’m gonna be real honest – I don’t do horror.

Because I can’t.

Call me a wuss – I’m fine with that. I call it having too vivid of an imagination. The things that I read and watch tend to show up in my dreams – probably because of the way I consume things, thinking about how they are constructed and how they are choosing to tell the story and a whole string of ‘what ifs.’ It’s no surprise, then, that as I continue to process it throughout the day, my subconscious needs to find ways to file it all away while I’m sleeping. Enter: dreams.

So if the thing I’m reading is gory or scary, so are my dreams. Which means I don’t sleep well.

There is a part of me that wishes it could read and watch horror because of how excited folks who consume it get when they talk about it. But the rest of me points at all the other books out in the world that are there for the reading – and I can’t help but wonder if my subconscious did me a favor by cutting out this particular genre.

(In September, one of my book clubs read a series of essays where people talk about why the horror genre was so important to them, and each essay was based around a particular movie that means a lot to them. I had seen maybe two? People were shocked that I hadn’t even seen Jaws – I mean, who hasn’t? Well. I hadn’t. <–and no, that’s not a typo. After I stated that I was ok never seeing any of the movies talked about in that collection, and that I would be skipping our October meeting when we were set to read an actual horror novel, my friend and I opted to head to the drive in near us. It’s their 75th season, and they were opting to show a couple throw backs – ET (which her boys had yet to see) and, yep, Jaws. Happy to say I managed to sit through it, but also happy to never see it again. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

The Archives

I’ve definitely made clear over the years my love and appreciation for libraries and how librarians are clearly magicians in disguise. Libraries have given me decades of adventures at the tips of my fingers. First, the GIANT (though I didn’t know what I had when I lived there) library of my childhood. Then, the tiny one-room library of my teens (the children’s section of my first library easily dwarfed the entirety of the second one) (thankfully, all the libraries in the county were connected, so if ours didn’t have what we were looking for, the others might). Next came the libraries of my colleges, which I know I didn’t utilize nearly as much as I should have.

Currently, I bounce back between my county library and the one at the college where I work. Though I recently added another – the university library where I live. (In case you didn’t know, most colleges and universities allow community members to hold cards, though there may be some restrictions to it.) Specifically, a part of the library I’ve never utilized – the archives.

Yes, libraries are great places to check out books or use the internet or attend fun programs or join a summer reading challenge. They are also a place that conserves history, generally local history.

After rewatching The Americans too many times (but what is too many, really?), an idea sparked for a KGB story I wanted to write, and for the first time, I saw it placed in my current city. Yes, I could have hopped online and done a little keyboard research, but I thought better of it for this. I reached out to the university archives director and asked if they had anything about KGB activity in the city.

They did not. BUT! She very kindly pointed out that they had a lot of material that would tell me about the city at the time the story would take place. So far, all of my novels and short stories have been contemporary. This is my first official historical fiction piece, and I wanted to do it right.

I also happen to love a good research rabbit hole. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And here’s the best part: I went in with questions, and she had some really smart ones of her own. This is what she does, after all. So while, yes, G00GLE is right there, it’s only going to give you things that match the questions you can come up with (hopefully good things, but not always) – it won’t know to say, “Hey, have you thought about this?”

Moral of the post? If you’ve ever had a wonder about something local, don’t hop online. Reach out to your local archives. You never know where it might lead you. 🙂

Midterms

I legit don’t know what happened. I blinked – and we’re halfway through the semester already? That old adage is indeed true – time indeed moves faster the older you get. But also the busier you get.

But could it maybe not? 😂👀

Midterms in my field means exams for most – students will take them, and faculty will grade them. For me, it’s merely the midway point. It’s one of the perks of teaching English – we don’t generally have exams. (I did at first, and then thought…why? Your papers should indicate your understanding of the material – though with the advent of AI, maybe those will have to be reintroduced… *shudders*)

So midterms for me means we’re halfway – half the papers have been graded, half the lectures given. Another half to go. And much as I am looking forward to winter break, I’m ok if it takes its time. There is much to do before then.

Films to Be Buried With: Resurrected

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know that I’ve been a fan of Brett Goldstein’s podcast Films to Be Buried With and have taken the opportunity to answer his questions for myself (sometimes with a twist of theater or books instead of films). To round out this “series” of posts, I thought I’d answer his ‘resurrections’ questions. In some instances, he’ll have a guest back where he’ll note “You were dead, but I have brought you back to life because I like you.” So instead of the first question being “How did you die?”, he’ll ask “What point in your life would you come back to? What would you change? What would you keep the same?” And honestly, I’d just come back to now (well, maybe a year ago). There are things I’d like to change about my life, of course, but then I can’t help but think about the good things in my life – and it wouldn’t be worth the risk to not have those things/people. What if I changed something and my best friend is just gone? (One of the guests, Toheeb Jimoh, asked if he kept his memories from now even if he went back earlier, and Goldstein said yes. But even if that weren’t the case, that I’d have different people in my life and maybe they could be ‘better’, I’d still rather have what I have now. Plus, can you imagine if you end up having it worse, but you have the memories of when it was better?)

First question is what’s the last film you saw? — The last film I saw, which is also the last I’ve seen in the theater was Wicked. I had read the book before saw I saw the musical (on tour) which was before I saw the film, so I knew the story pretty intimately. I’ve also seen enough clips of Kristin Chenoweth in the role of Glinda to know how similar Ariana made her own Glinda. I thought the film was well done. (Unpopular opinion – I don’t think we needed to stretch the first film out as long as we did. It’s only five minutes shy of the musical/play…) I do think they did a wonderful job with it, especially knowing some of the things they did practically when they could have absolutely used CGI.

Who do you think should play you in the film of your Life? — First, I don’t think that’s a film anyone would want to see, so why are we making it? Next, I’d want to be completely unreasonable and say someone like Emma Stone because she would make me seem so much cooler than I actually am.

What’s the most romantic film you’ve ever seen? Are you a romantic? — It’s silly, but Sweet November. The film itself was ok – but the notion that she gave up her own chance at happiness, however short lived, so that he could keep a perfect memory – that’s a romantic sacrifice. (But also annoying – like, you are both going to be miserable, and you made that decision for him?) While You Were Sleeping is my other choice. This is a film I could watch a million times over and never get sick of. Who doesn’t love Sandy B? Or Bill Pullman pining over her. Again – he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness so that his brother could be happy and because he thought that’s what she wanted. A+ pining Mr. Pullman.

What is the best film you ever saw that you never want to see again? — Probably The Sixth Sense. It will never again have that “wait, what‽‽” impact again. And they gave away all the details that you would have discovered on a second watch (that montage where you see things like him going to dinner, but his wife getting up to leave as he just sat down and what not). I didn’t need to watch it a second time because they told me everything I’d find on such a watching. They robbed me of the chance to go back and see those things for myself. There’s no need to watch it again.

What is the best action film you’ve ever seen? — The first John Wick. Not that the others aren’t great, but there were some action scenes later on that just felt…too much. Like, he fights his way up this giant staircase, only to tumble down them and have to fight his way back up? But the first, everything was moving the story forward. And it was beautifully filmed. (Again, they all were – but this was the first time where I saw this sort of film shot this way.)

Of all the films in the world, if you had to, which film do you think you could have made? And why? — Anne of Green Gables (I might be cheating because it’s not necessarily a film, but sorta is, but is more a TV mini series). And I wouldn’t want to remake it (in fact, I refuse to watch the remake) because it will never be as good as CBC did it – it is NOT AoGG without Megan Follows or Colleen Dewhurst or Richard Farnswerth. And anyone other than Jonathan Crombie is #NotMyGilbert. I just think if tasked, this would be the story – because I love it so much and would be absolutely true to the book because it’s perfect. But Crombie passed away, so it should never ever be remade.

What film have you pretended to like to impress people? — I honestly don’t pretend to like something to impress people. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not everything is for everyone. My not enjoying something doesn’t take away from someone else loving it. Just as I don’t fault people who don’t like things that I absolutely love.

What’s the film you’ve never seen that you think it’s mad? — Citizen Kane. But it’s mad because I borrowed it from a colleague YEARS ago, and I still have not seen it. (I mostly want to watch it to see what the fuss is all about.) Maybe I’ll watch it tonight so that I can finally return it. 😛 (NARRATOR: She did not watch it that night.)

What is the film you love that you don’t expect anyone else to like? — I don’t know that I have a specific answer for this one, either – just in general, there are some romcoms that I truly love, and that genre is often shit on as less than. But at the same time, they make a lot of money, so there would be a lot of people that love them, too. I don’t know that I’ve seen anything obscure enough that I wouldn’t know a lot of people that have already seen it and expressed their opinion about it. (Maybe Then She Found Me only because I don’t think a lot of folks ever saw it. I did because Colin Firth is in it, and he’s as adorable as he always is.)

What’s the film you would show a lover as a test to see if you should be together? — Probably Singing in the Rain – because if they can’t sit through an hour and forty-three minute musical, they aren’t going to do well with a partner who likes to blast the showtimes while cleaning the house or randomly bursts out into song for no apparent reason.

What is the film that made you the most uncomfortable? — Any horror film I’ve ever seen. Or any film I saw as a child with one parent or the other that I clearly wasn’t mature enough to be watching, especially with my parent.

If you could show a child one film, what would it be and frankly, what are you doing it forcing a child to watch? — I like to watch films from my childhood with my oldest nephew (the younger one is still quite young, but I’m sure I’ll enjoy sharing them with him, as well). So he’s already seen a number of the ones I’ve wanted to share. I think something like All Dogs Go to Heaven or The Land Before Time would be a nice experience to share with him. I mean, who doesn’t bond over devastating stories? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

At the end of the podcast, Goldstein allows the person to live – but makes it clear that they may die again in his presence on a future episode. So if that day were to arise, what is the one DVD they would leave to someone in their will (and there is only room in the will for one). I took Anne of Green Gables with me last time, but assuming I can get my hands on another copy, I’d, of course, leave that one. Everyone should watch it. Everyone.

First Friday Rec: True Biz

Title: True Biz
Author: Sara Nović
Genre: Fiction, Contemporary, Literary
Pages: 402
Publication Date: 5 Apr 2022
StoryGraph* Moods: Informative, Emotional, Reflective
How I Stumbled Upon This Book: I want to say Instagram, but I can’t remember for sure.
Other Books by this author: Girl at War and America is Immigrants.
*StoryGraph also offers content warnings.

Description: The title of this novel comes from an exclamation in American Sign Language meaning ‘really, seriously, definitely, real-talk.’

The novel follows three people: Charlie – who is deaf but had never met another deaf person before joining River Valley School (nor has she been allowed to learn ASL; she was born to a completely hearing family), Austin – the popular boy whose baby sister is born hearing, and February – the school’s headmistress who is doing what she can to keep the school open (she’s a hearing child of deaf parents).

Charlie finds herself feeling completely behind in deaf culture, made to feel other in a setting she staunchly belongs in. Part coming of age story, part love letter to deaf culture, Nović gives insight to a world most will never get to experience otherwise.

Why I recommend this book: In this story, Nović explores the ways language can include or exclude someone from the conversation (literally and figuratively) and how it can help one to forge an identity.

The formatting of the story is also an interesting read – taking into consideration the difference between dialogue spoken aloud in English and that provided via sign language.

Even if coming of age or finding the self stories aren’t your thing, this is a good read – you’ll learn something.

“But language bears more than the work of communicating with the mainstream world; it is also the internal vehicle for our thoughts and feelings, the mechanism through which we understand ourselves. Without first having had ASL, I would not have understood myself as a person with a story to tell.”
~ Sara Nović, True Biz

NCIS

By the time of this posting, the NCIS universe includes 1,063* episodes of television. In an era where most shows get about thirty episodes total over three seasons (usually with a few years between seasons with viewers waiting in limbo to hear if the show will go on), it’s sort of astounding to consider just how much content this universe encompasses. Even ignoring the spinoffs, the flagship show is about to start its twenty-third season with 489 episodes in its backlog (I’m including the two backdoor pilot episodes from JAG in that number). (For those wondering, Grey’s Anatomy comes in with 448 episodes – 664 if you include spinoffs Private Practice, with 111, and Station 19, with 105.)

I don’t remember when I started watching this show, but I can say that I’ve seen the entire flagship series several times. It’s one of those shows I know well enough that I can have it on in the background while I’m working. (Though I don’t know the post-Gibbs’-stare years all that well. And I miss Ducky something fierce.)

I understand there is quite a team working on this franchise, but the idea of amassing that much work, even over twenty-three years? Feels impossible. (That being said, yes, there are storylines that get repeated in some of the spinoffs, and yes, it is quite disconcerting when a character from the flagship shows up in a spinoff – but as someone else. Like when Melinda McGraw, who plays a formidable character on the flagship, Diane, shows up in New Orleans as bad guy Gina Powell…?) (Also, hard to believe Diane was only in six episodes of NCIS – she had such a presence, it feels like much more.)

Three of the spinoffs are off the air – three more are just getting started:
— Los Angeles (2009-2022, 14 seasons, 323 episodes, not counting back door pilot)
— New Orleans (2014-2020, 7 seasons, 155 episodes, not counting back door pilot)
— Hawai’i (2021-2024, 3 seasons, 54 episodes)
— Sydney (2023 – ?, 18 episodes so far, next season premiers Oct 14)
— Origins (2024 – ?, 18 episodes so far, next season premiers Oct 14)
— Tony & Ziva (2025 – ?, 6 episodes so far, premiered Sep 4)

All but LA can be found streaming on the Paramount app. (I am utilizing my library instead – it’s DVDs, but they at least also have LA.) I’ve yet to watch Origins or Tony & Ziva, but so far, aside from the flagship, I’m really digging LA (they are undercover, and there’s more action). I also think Hawai’i should have lasted more than three seasons. But I’m stoked to see Sydney continue, and Tony & Ziva takes place in Europe. I’m hoping we’ll get to see some more international iterations.

That all said, there is a part of me that feels like the flagship needs to end. (None of the original characters are even on the show anymore; and before you say, but McGee! He wasn’t in the pilot or first several episodes. He first showed up in season one episode seven, then again in episode eleven, and then finally became a regular starting in episode eighteen. At the moment, he is the character with the most episodes recorded, currently clocking in at 472.) I will continue to watch until it ends, but there comes a point where perhaps that’s the only reason?

*1,063 sounds astounding…until I learned that the TV drama with the most episodes is General Hospital clocking in with 15,801 episodes as of this posting. The first episode aired on April 1, 1963 – and it is STILL going (in its sixty-third year). And no, I will not be taking on the task of watching every single episode of that show…

What’s the longest running show you’ve ever watched?

Drawing

There are a set of stories that get told about me regarding my childhood – over and over. Perhaps you have a similar set, those stories that dragged out at family gatherings. One story is about how when I was a kid, young enough that I have no recollection of this, I was at my maternal grandparents house. My papa was a skilled artist, and he always had paper in the basement for folks to draw on. I imagine this was something he’d pull out to keep us grandkids occupied when we were at their house. I imagine he gave me the paper that day.

My grandparents had a gallery on their living room wall – meaning that the entire stretch of it contained photos and art and even a canvas my papa himself had painted. The items changed throughout my childhood, but at the time of this story, there was a Picasso print hanging on that wall (which was later moved to one of the bedrooms). It’s had a few names and derivatives of names over the years – I knew it as Bouquet of Peace. The image has two hands clutching a grouping of flowers.

Apparently, I decided (or perhaps Papa prompted me) to recreate this. If the drawing still exists, I don’t have it, so I have to take my dad’s word for it. He said it it looked exactly like the original. (I don’t know that I believe him, but I appreciate the kindness.)

The thing I don’t understand is – if my papa was so artistic, and my mother was (I found one of her sketchbooks when I was a teen – she had excellent line work), and my dad wasn’t a visual artist but a musician – if I showed such skill at such an early age, why this wasn’t nurtured. I’ve never asked them. Maybe I should. (Or maybe it’s one of those stories that has just evolved to make me look good, and it wasn’t encouraged because it was actually a craptastic replication. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

On and off throughout my life, I’ve picked up a pencil and drew things, but I never really took it too seriously because I wanted to write – that was the path. Not ignoring that one can hop from one path to another and back – but because life was chaotic on the writerly (teacherly) path. There were so many things I held an interest in that there wasn’t time for all of it. (Yes to knitting and photography and stitching – everything else would have to wait.)

Well, I finally made a leap (and some time). I needed a new laptop (my old one won’t let me update the operating software anymore, and so I can’t update my word processing software anymore… [deep sigh]), and I decided to go the tablet/Bluetooth keyboard route. And with it, I bought ProCreate. This is a first for me – drawing digitally. It’s only ever been me and a pencil and a sheet of paper. But I thought I would give it a try. It’s taken a bit of time getting used to it, but now, it’s my go to whenever I sit to watch something (I’m terrible at just sitting in one spot not doing anything). It feels like a different skill than drawing on paper (and I REALLY love that back button… 👀), but I’m digging it.

Are there things you’d like to explore but maybe don’t have the time to? Something you loved doing as a kid that might be fun to bring back onto your path?

Not My Normal Kind of Post: PSA

Every year (meaning the start of the academic year, which for my school is mid-August), we (the faculty and staff) are tasked with taking a number of trainings: Ethics, Title IX, and cybersecurity. Every year while doing that last one, I can’t help but wonder how these scams ever work. Doesn’t everyone know not to click on any links? Always to verify?

But if that were the case, these people would stop trying. We all continue to get bombarded because there are people it works on. It’s a numbers game for them – send it to a hundred, a thousand, more, and if you get one, it’s likely worth it (depending on the scheme).

TL;DR – never click on any links or open any attachments without verifying they are official; you should never have to pay for anything up front when someone offers you representation or publication. (Notes about writing scams at the end.)

If you need more than that, I’ve got some examples of what to watch out for.

A year+ ago, I got the above text message saying that I had outstanding tolls in the state of Wisconin and that I will be “penalized and subject to legal action” if I don’t pay now. They provided a link for me to click to make this payment.

This one made me giggle because WI doesn’t have tolls. (Do your homework, scammers.)

First – you would never be notified of overdue tolls through a text. They send invoices through the mail to the address attached to your plates (so make sure your address is up to date at the DMV or you will be missing notices and incurring more fees). In addition, there are many red flags in this text that can let us know this is a scam:

  1. It came from an email with the domain indicating The Anchor Nursery. Definitely not anything related to the DMV. The random series of letters and numbers as the ID for the email is also a red flag.
  2. The Actual website for the WI DMV is https://wisconsindot.gov/.
    • Anyone can buy any URL that is not already in use – they are hoping you see the first part and ignore the rest – the URL for the site in the text is the full https://wisconsindot.gov-etcpm.xin/us. (Note: The domain is everything that comes between the https:// and the next / – so in this case: wisconsindot.gov-etcpm.xin. This is what you need to look closest at – because they hope you see the ‘wisconsindot.gov’ part and think it’s legit.)
    • An .xin doman can be bought by anyone, though they are aimed at the Asian market. An actual .gov cannot be bought by anyone other than an official government agency (that being said, they can slip the letters gov in there hoping to dupe you). Also, they are hoping you miss the .xin by adding the /us. Anything after the initial domain indicates a specific page on that website; it’s not a part of the actual website domain address – they are hoping using a reference to U.S. will distract you again from the .xin.
  3. Often, these scams will give you a sense of urgency in the hopes you panic and pay, and that you do not take the time to do your due diligence. This text came in on March 31, and I ‘have to pay’ by April 2. In reality, the timeline for being overdue and incurring fees/needing to pay is longer than this:
    • Also, the Illinois Tollway is not part of the DMV – it’s a separate organization. It also does not contact the DMV about unpaid fines, and the DMV is not in charge of sending notices of unpaid fines. The Illinois Tollway itself can put a hold on your registration. This will, of course, then flag at the DMV. (But note that the graphic above says they “may” – not that they will. Same note about litigation.) Again, if there is an actual missed toll and fine, just make sure your address is up to date at the DMV, and you will receive the first notice, which you can pay and avoid getting anywhere near collections.

So, you get a text like this, and your state does indeed have tolls (or you live near one that does and have recently driven through one of their tolls). What do you do? For IL, you can check your account/plate by going to www.illinoistollway.com or calling 1-800-UC-IPASS (1-800-824-7277). (You can search for the official website and phone number of your own state.) But whatever you do, do not click on any links or open any attachments without doing your due diligence.

After a bit, the scammers must have realized that WI doesn’t have tolls, and they switched their tactic:

  1. This one at least came from a phone number and not a random email. However, it came from an international number: +63 is the code for the Philippines. (If the first set of numbers is only two digits, it’s an international code. You can google the code and see where the text is coming from.) If this were legit, it would come from a local number that you can locate on the actual agency website. (That last part is key. Lots of scammers have figured out ways to call from what looks like a local-to-you number.)
  2. DMV stands for Department of MOTOR Vehicles. Typos, misspellings, and other such inaccuracies are a good indication this is not from someone at the actual office. In addition, the DMV doesn’t deal with traffic ticket fees. Police and the courts do.
  3. North Wisconsin Car State Administrative Code 15C-16.003 does not exist. (An additional inaccuracy – North Wisconsin? Any actual codes would be for an entire state.)
  4. Again, the actual website for the WI DMV is https://wisconsindot.gov/
    • The URL for their site is the full https://wisconsindot.gov-ye.icu/us. Same notes as above about the .icu domain. (Though this is an upgrade. While .xin is geared toward Asian markets, .icu is more global. This change was certainly intentional on their part.)
  5. They again gave a sense of urgency – the text came in on June 3, and I ‘have to pay’ by June 5.
  6. The text is about a traffic ticket – no idea why they would “transfer to a toll booth”? Traffic tickets and the tollway have nothing to do with one another.
  7. The one thing they do get right is that if unpaid fees go to collections, yes, it can indirectly affect your credit score. But, again, there are a lot of steps and official notifications along the way to that (and six months).

Another common scam is the cold-call job offer:

  1. Ok, first clue – the name given (Daniel) does not match the email it is coming from (Nichole Williams). Also, if this were legit, the email would have been something like @Klarna.com
  2. Next, Klarna is a real business – you can look it up. They have this warning at the top of their page even letting you know about the scam:
  3. In addition, no one is going to offer you a job through a text message based on some resume you didn’t send them. If you are working with a head hunting agency, you might get a cold call – but it will come through a phone number or email you can locate on the company website (and the head hunter will probably give you a heads up that it is coming). Either way, you would have to still interview before you would get an actual job offer.
  4. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. No one is paying 2K a week for 60-90 minutes a day. This is so unreal. If you are going to be hired for some job that is paying well over two hundred bucks an hour, it’s going to be a highly skilled job with a rigorous interview and onboarding process. Not a text message out of the blue.
  5. The number they give is through WhatsApp. BIG red flag. Any communication should come from a phone number that you can verify on their website.
  6. That being said, the WhatsApp number is cloaked as a number from southern Texas (likely why they are using WhatsApp in the first place). Klarna is based in Sweden. They have offices elsewhere in the world, but none on their site are listed in Texas. Took me about ten seconds to find this out.

The same goes for anything you get through email or voicemails, even letters in the mail. Protect yourself. Verify. Verify. Verify. If you weren’t expecting it, it’s probably a scam. If it seems too good to be true, it’s very much likely to be a scam.

All this to say that writers are often targets of scammers. Why? Because we have big dreams, and we want to believe that opportunity finally came knocking. And people try to exploit that. Again – if it feels too good to be true, it probably is. Some things to watch out for:

  1. If a publisher contacts you with a contract and asks you for money for ANY step of the process, it’s a scam. The publisher is the one taking the chance on you – they cover ALL up front costs in the hopes that they reap the reward when the book goes to market. (Same goes for requests for payment to represent you. Or requests from TV shows or podcasts asking you to pay them to be on their show. That is not how this is supposed to work.)
    • On that note, there’s also a scam currently going around where a ‘celebrity’ podcast wants to interview you and asks for access to your Facebook or Insta page for a live event; it’s a scam. They don’t need access to your accounts to hold a live event with you.
  2. If a publisher reaches out about a self-published book and offers you a five or six figure advance – but your book is not selling millions of copies, be wary. They aren’t going to offer that kind of money without some sort of assurance that they will make it back and then some. And if your book isn’t doing those kinds of numbers already, the offer is a scam.
  3. Watch out for literary awards that charge reading fees. Most of them are scams. (Note – most but not all. This is where that due diligence comes in.) The most reputable ones do not charge a reading fee.
  4. Don’t pay for reviews. Even if it is a legit person who reads and honestly reviews your book, agents and publishers don’t take them seriously, and it may even backfire if you are looking to get representation.
  5. If you get a call from a studio or agency wanting to make a movie of your book – but first they ask you to pay to produce things like a ‘pitch deck’ or ‘theatrical trailer’ – it’s a scam. Again, it’s your IP. You own the copyright. They are paying YOU to use it. Any costs incurred are on them. This is why they have financial investors.
  6. Impersonation scams are big – so do your research. If you get an email out of the blue from a supposed agent or publisher, don’t click any of the links they provide or open any of the documents attached. First, do a search for the official website and make sure this person is a member of their staff. Even then, anyone can make a website. If it’s a publisher you’ve never heard of, check out places like Writer Beware. (They also have lists of current scams.)
  7. Also, if you get an offer of a contract, this is indeed a time where you MUST read the ‘terms and conditions’ and ALL the ‘fine print’ before you sign anything. It’s not fun to read – but you need to know what it is you are signing away. (In the U.S., soon as you have an offer from a publisher, you can join the Authors Guild. Your dues give you access to legal advice, and they will look over contracts and let you know about any red flags. If you are in other countries, check into local guilds to see if they perhaps offer the same service.)

First Friday Rec: Born a Crime

Title: Born a Crime
Author: Trevor Noah
Genre: Nonfiction, Memoir
Pages: 289
Publication Date: 15 Nov 2016
StoryGraph* Moods: Funny, Emotional, Reflective
How I Stumbled Upon This Book: I knew of Trevor Noah, but I first saw it wandering through a bookshop
Other Books by this author: It’s Trevor Noah: Born a Crime (Adapted for Young Readers) and Into the Uncut Grass.
*StoryGraph also offers content warnings.

Description: Trevor Noah was, as the title notes, born a crime. The relationship between his Swiss father and Black Xhosa mother was illegal in apartheid South Africa. He spent much of his early life hidden away, literal proof of his parents’ illegal relationship. When apartheid finally came to an end, he and his mother were able to live more freely. This memoir covers large swaths of this life, from poverty to today (celebrating those who helped him get there, like his incredibly strong mother).

Often times heartbreaking, Noah still manages to find the humor in a damaged world.

Why I recommend this book: If you like Trevor Noah, you’ll enjoy reading this. If you somehow have no clue who he is, his story offers direct insight to a life that was lived half a world away. For those old enough to remember apartheid, here’s a face to put to it. For those of you who are too young, you’ll still gain some perspective. You can learn and laugh at the same time.

“We tell people to follow their dreams, but you can only dream of what you can imagine, and, depending on where you come from, your imagination can be quite limited.”
~ Trevor Noah, Born a Crime

Baking French Macarons

I love to experiment in the kitchen. To the degree that I have even attempted to make my own cheese and my own mayo (I’m still working on that second one). I like piecing together the puzzle of a new recipe (sometimes for odd things) and then making it my own. Of course, when that comes to baking, the wiggle room is slim.

Someone once told me that cooking is artistry and baking is science. There is an argument, of course, that the opposite could also be said. However, the artistry with baking is less with the ingredients (you can’t, for example, change the eggs to butter on a whim and expect your cake to be, well, a cake). Their is joy in the result, especially a recipe pulled off well.

So why not try to learn how to bake a particularly uptight cookie?

I learned about a little shop in De Pere that offered classes, and I perused their list. One of the classes offered was for the French Macaron – and I thought, why not? I signed up, and then a few weeks later showed up ready to learn.

The first step is to create a meringue, something I’ve never done before – which can easily be under whipped or over whipped (no pressure). Egg whites and sugar – that’s all. But combine them and try to stuff them with air, and they can become quite temperamental.

After that, comes almond flour (superfine) and more sugar (and, if you want, coloring), which you combine with a specific mixing technique (shout out to the other attendee who also giggled when the teacher used the phrase ‘fold in‘). The mixing technique use for this step is called macaronage – essentially swoop and press. You are strongly encouraging it all to become friends.

From there, you pipe them onto a macaron cooking sheet filling to the edge of the inner circle. Then – the part that frightened all of us – you pick up the mat and slap it against the table a few times to remove any air bubbles that might have formed. Our teacher was, of course, fearless about this step. The rest of us were certain we’d ruin all our hard work.

Thankfully, we did not.

Continuing on with the temperamental cookie, you then leave them to dry a bit (should be tacky to the touch but not stick to your finger). You can both let them rest too little or too much. (The fact that these cookies exist at all is a testament to the strength of one’s sweet tooth.)

Another thing we had to worry about was the humidity. The AC in the back of the shop was broken, and it was indeed a bit sticky (we were in the midst of a heat wave). Too much humidity could mean a foot-less macaron. The foot of the cookie is that bubbly ridge along the bottom. The type of foot can tell you all kinds of things – if you over or under mixed, if you didn’t let it rest long enough, and, yes, if it was too humid when you piped them and let them rest. (She had us piped the in a part of the shop that still had AC in the hopes it wouldn’t affect the foot.) They turned out pretty well:

Because it was a class with likely different tastes, our teacher made a straight buttercream for us to frost them with, though one could do all sorts of flavors. It was a fun experience, if not a potentially frustrating confection. If you like playing in the kitchen and ever get the chance, I highly recommend taking such a class.

Because I’m me, my first time attempting these at home were going to be a chai flavor. I had run into some issues with the piping bag I bought, which snowballed and honestly made me almost throw in the towel. I also think I didn’t whip the meringue long enough (but I was so worried about overwhipping…), and I need to find a finer almond flour. But – despite their super sloppy look (had to frost with a knife) and poorly formed feet (all of the above), they tasted perfect. Will be trying them again.