In a previous post, I wrote about the times I’ve been able to see Sara Bareilles perform (or talk – that being specific to her book tour). I have a lot of memories tied up with some of these performances, so when an opportunity to see her again comes around, it’s not a simple question of if I should go. (It’s how much of those memories do I want to bring back around.)
It’s been about seven years since the last time Sara B toured (with her album Amidst the Chaos). I saw her perform to a sold out arena in Chicago – a much different experience than that first in-store signing at a Borders in the Twin Cities (Minnesota). But now she’s got a new record, a new tour – and a documentary.
Inspired by her experience as executive producer on Andrea Gibson’s Come See Me in the Good Light, by how open and honest and tender Gibson was, Sara B decided (about two weeks in advance) to invite a friend of hers (who happens to film documentaries) to join her and her circle of musicians on a week-long recording session in Woodstock. The film went to Tribeca, and later, Sara B excitedly announced that there would be theatrical releases across the states in early September.
The closest-to-me showing was in Milwaukee, and I immediately snapped up a ticket. (By this time, I had already purchased tickets to see her tour with a friend of mine.) I figured there would be others in the theater, though I didn’t expect it to be almost full. I didn’t expect a complete stranger to be sat on either side of my (I can’t remember the last time I was in a theater that had more than a couple people spread throughout). And I didn’t expect that when the credits rolled, not a single person would get up.
If you go into this expecting a documentary that will blow you off your feet or create some sort of spectacle, you’ll want to look elsewhere. This is a quiet fly-on-the-wall experience where Sara B allows us access to her creative process for these songs in collaboration with some great musicians (who also happen to be good friends with Bareilles). Emphasis on the quiet in a metaphorical way. There are big emotions (the album is about grief, after all) and the camera doesn’t pull away from it. This film in a complement to the record, though – not the main attraction. (There are also moments of levity, and her pup Louie makes several appearances.)
The most interesting thing about this film is that we then got to walk into the concert already carrying this experience, this understanding of how these songs came to be – not only the stories behind them, but the process of how they came to life.
So when I sat in my seat next to my dear friend at the Paramount in Seattle, on the last night of the tour, we were both expecting to be blubbering like babies at several points throughout the show. And, it turns out, we weren’t the only ones. People came equipped with tissues, and arms slipped around shoulders, pulling people closer, throughout the night.
To say it was a revelation to someone who hasn’t seen the tour is going to sound silly. But she dropped a lot of truth bombs, both during the songs and in the stories between them (which are my favorite part of any live performance I see). Grief is often portrayed as something we have to push through – just get to the other side of. But anyone who has experienced any amount of grief in their life knows it never really goes away – you just figure out how to hold it more tenderly. (As Bareilles sings: It “cannot heal / until it’s known and loved by name.”)
And Sara Bareilles figured out how to name and pack it into an album full of songs (i.e. lessons), most of which she sang that night, followed up by some of her hits from over the years. I knew I would get emotional when she played “A Love Story” (which has a clip of Andrea Gibson’s voice, one of my favorite poets who passed somewhat recently). I had not expected to ugly cry when she sang “Salt then Sour then Sweet,” which is a song pieced together by couplets of Gibson’s unfinished work. But grief is gonna grief whenever it wants to. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I also did not know at the time of purchasing tickets to see this show that it would land between losing somewhere dear to me and their funeral. Talk about the universe knowing before you do when you might need some tremendous songs and stories about grief.
